SLAVA’S GUIDE TO DRINKING

Didn’t grow up pouring out your Slavic soul over shots of vodka? Here’s a guide to a true pyanka, according to co-owner Bonnie’s father.

• Drink in good company.

“Great company is the key. As far as what does great company mean: obviously it’s conversation. I mean, if you’re sitting and keep quiet, this is not great company. You need to have respect for the people you are drinking with. Conversation is running like a rechiyok—how you say—a river?”

• Be at the ready.

“Best parties happen spontaneous. No phones, people just show up. Basically, you have to have at home permanent readiness. Always prepared for a party. We can’t be caught with nothing to put on the table.”

• Get caught up in the moment!

“Americans need to understand: it’s not just a long meal, it’s a long process. Be prepared—kak eto—it’s not a sprinter, it’s a marathon. It’s a whole-night event. Take your time. Enjoy yourself. Relax. Follow the crowd. You have a toast. You clink the glasses, drink, eat. And the next toast is not too far away.”

• Designate a party captain.

“You elect a tamada — like a chairman of the drinking party. Tamada makes sure no one is passed over. Tamada is leading the conversation, unites all individuals into one conversation and appoints the next toaster.”

• Give toasts.

“Toasts are born. Toasts are like the punch line for what you are talking about. Like every time you go to a party, just in case, you should have something to say. Often people will write poems or speeches to prepare in advance for a party, or a quick and sharp phrase.”

• Don’t be rude!

“Never clink glass with your spouse (you will not have money). Never clink glasses when toasting to the departed. Always drink to the bottom—do d’na. Do not put down your shot glass after clinking without drinking—it’s like you’re ignoring the toast. To show respect, sometimes you get up and walk over to a specific person at the table to clink glasses.”

• Pace yourself.

“Typically, I’m a good driver for a party. I know what’s the menu and what rhythm or pace to take. In the beginning with the zakuski we are getting a little boom boom boom—more frequent. Slow down as the party progresses. Main and dessert. And by dessert the time is late. Comes to a natural end.”

SLAVA’S FALLBACK TOASTS

“For everything that joins us.”

“To the host and/or hostess.”

“To our friendship (or to the mothers, the wives, the children, the family, etc.).”

“Boo-dym [we will]!”

“Za oodachu [to good fortune].”